Insecurity

January 29, 2016  •  Leave a Comment

Insecurity, yeah that's what I feel when I'm writing in English. It has been forever since I started my first blog about art, food and gardening. But it was abandoned before it really took off. (I still blame on my disorder for that :D ) Many times I withdraw to leave comments on friend's Facebook pages, even if I have so much to say. Afraid of grammatical mistakes when I write. Or I might offend somebody or something. I was too afraid to face people reaction...feel shame and stupid. If at the end I write something it was shortened and filtered. Just like this blog after I read it again I feel it is not clear enough about what am I going to say. It's too short! so over 2 weeks, I am now expanding the paragraphs.

There is a funny story...not long after I arrived in United States. Picture me with this gentleman in a fine art gallery .... we were in a conversation about art, I was doing pretty good in the beginning. At one point after he says something I just smile at him to expect more what he will say next. He looks at me with a little awkward face, I still smile genuinely. Then he left!! oh owww! I think that was wierd.... In my mind I was panicking and thinking..what I did wrong? What I did wrong? Then I try to rewind the sound of the last statement he made. Then...it hit me! He was asking me a question and waiting for my answer but only get smile from me!! No wonder he left! He must think I'm a weirdo! I felt so stupid and that moment haunts me for years! Ha! so I suck in conversation too!

Every beginning of the new year I sees many of my friends make a new resolution. I was never ever a big planner, let alone to pledge a new resolution. But this year I don't know what got into me, at this point of 2016. I decided to make a new resolution. Starting out to do fine art/conceptual photography. And trying again to blog, face the fear..the insecurity. By blogging at least I can record my journey along the way. The progress of my work and how I will grow and hopefully can become an inspiration as other have inspired me. 

I'm excited to share this short video link below, showing the process of my very first official conceptual photography called "Song of the Sea". Inspired by one of the best animated movies I have ever watched with the same title. The movie makes me feel this burst of emotions (love, enchanting and magical). I plan to make a series of this theme, fingers crossed! In composing the image, I gathered 6-7 photos that I took on my travels around the world. Blending them together as I imagine the picture will look like. Mostly used tool are brushes and layer masks in Photoshop, layering shadow and light to create a dramatic feel. I also love to see movement in my art using elements including wind, fog, clouds and water. I think the video will explain better than words. This is my first attempt making this type of video. In the future I will be sharing more details in editing. 

Let me know what do you think on comment below. Your feedback will be much appreciated! ^_^

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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